How to Rebuild Confidence After Being Fired
- Karen Waleska
- Aug 21
- 5 min read
Updated: 4 days ago
Lessons from New York, a Leopard-Print Dress, and the Power of Presence
New York has a way of holding up a mirror. Sometimes it shows you who you were when you first arrived; sometimes it reflects who you’ve become.
It’s been two weeks since we came back from our summer vacation, and I’ve been sitting with everything the city revealed to me. Part of me wanted to rush and get these words out right away, but I realized I needed space to let the memories breathe.
Over those three weeks, New York reminded me of something simple but important: I’m not here to fit into anyone’s frame — I’m here to own the room I’m in.
The First Mirror: The Dress
In 2019, I wore a leopard-print dress in León, Guanajuato. On the surface, it was just fabric. But if you look closer, it tells the truth of where I was.
That weekend, I had just discovered Peter Pan’s betrayal. My body carried the weight, even if my voice stayed silent. In the black-and-white photo, snapped by Jonathan, the host of an Airbnb bar-hopping experience in León, my arms weren’t just resting — they were revealing the weight I carried.
Bar-hopping through León was my attempt to numb the ache. Jonathan’s presence that night was a gift — safe masculine energy at the exact moment my faith in men was bruised. I never told him, but the photo he captured became my time capsule:
Have you ever looked back at a photo and realized it captured pain you weren’t ready to name at the time? That was mine. That was my first mirror.
The Second Mirror: Albert’s
Growth isn’t always obvious until you return to a familiar place and feel completely different.
For me, that place was Albert’s in New York.
The last time I’d been in its earlier version — Public House, back in 2010 — I was with my cousins on a night out. On the surface, it should have been carefree. But I was in the middle of a difficult relationship with a partner who didn’t support me traveling alone. Even from miles away, his presence was there — in the constant texts and calls, in the way I second-guessed how much fun I was “allowed” to have. The bar itself felt heavy: dark, with a wide dance floor in the middle and drinks circling the edges. I was present, but not fully free.
But in 2025, I sat at Albert’s again. The space had transformed into something new — lighter, more upscale. And sitting there, I realized I had transformed too.
This time, I ordered what I wanted. I spoke when I felt like it, and I let silence be comfortable. I wasn’t in limbo anymore. I wasn’t controlled.
When was the last time you let yourself simply exist in a room without performing for anyone else?
From Survival Mode to Self-Possessed
If you’d met me in May 2022, you would have seen a woman working under a leader who thrived on control. I learned how to survive in that environment — smile, stay agreeable, avoid drawing too much attention to myself. That survival mode became second nature.
Then came January 15, 2025 — the day I was fired.
What should have broken me actually freed me. I first wrote about that silence and grief in my post Job Loss, Grief & Rebuilding: What Helped Me Heal. Looking back now, I see it was the moment everything began to shift.
It wasn’t an instant glow-up. My confidence wavered, and my mental health had to be rebuilt piece by piece. But slowly, I started rebuilding confidence after being fired by reprogramming my patterns:
I stopped shrinking.
I stopped performing.
I began making decisions based on my own clarity, not someone else’s approval.
That’s what leaving survival mode really looks like — not a quick transformation, but a steady return to your own presence.
Are you still operating in survival mode, even though the storm is over?
The Proof: Central Park
And here’s the proof:
A photo Caleb captured in Central Park — me, standing in the same leopard-print dress, years later.
The difference was undeniable.
The dress that once covered heartbreak now fits over a woman who doesn’t need external validation. Compliments are nice, but they’re just echoes. The truth is, I already know.
The same dress. Two different women. That’s the miracle of clarity — the clothes may not change, but the woman wearing them does.
How Rebuilding Confidence After Being Fired Really Looks
At Albert’s and in that photo, I noticed the evidence in real time:
My shoulders weren’t tense.
My voice didn’t feel small.
I wasn’t overthinking how I was being perceived.
That’s what growth looks like. Not just in achievements, but in how safe you feel in your own skin.
How You Can Reprogram Your Life Too
Ask yourself:
Where do I still feel the need to prove myself?
What rooms make me shrink, and why?
When was the last time I chose what I wanted without over-explaining it?
Which of these questions feels most true for you right now?
Your Tools for the Journey
I created the Clarity Reset Journal because I didn’t just want to heal — I wanted to document how I healed. Each prompt acts as a job aid for your emotional life and guides you through doubt, hesitation, and moments when you feel yourself shrinking.
To make the journal even more practical, I designed companion tools — like The Emergency Clarity Plan™ (inspired by my blog post on spiraling thoughts)
✨ Want to try it? Grab your free copy below.
👉 Just drop your email to get the clarity you’ve been craving — instantly.
Divine Staging
The odds of packing that exact dress for New York and wearing it without remembering its history were slim. It wasn’t until after Caleb’s photo that I saw the contrast. That’s not random — that’s divine staging.
💬 I’d love to hear from you:
What’s one place, outfit, or photo that shows you how much you’ve grown? Share it in the comments or send it to someone who needs the reminder too.
💌 Let’s Stay Connected
✨ Join the early access list for updates, clarity tools, and exclusive beta testing opportunities. Let’s rebuild together!
Comments